Red vs. Blue Episode
"You Had Me at Halo"
Episode no. 1.5
Airdate February 13, 2009
Director(s) Unknown

Red vs. Blue Relocated
February 9, 2009 - March 9, 2009

  1. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part One
  2. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Two
  3. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Three
  4. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Four

In You Had Me at Halo, Simmons and Grif find Caboose in a depressed state. He is sad because it is his first Valentine's Day without Church. He has a flashback of previous Valentine's Days trying to talk to Church with Church insulting him. Simmons and Grif then decide to insult Caboose to make him feel better.


List of characters in Red vs. Blue

Red TeamEdit

Blue TeamEdit



Fade in to the Reds firing at Caboose, who is hiding behind a rocky outcropping and whimpering, and sounding all pathetic
Caboose: Oh boo hoo.
Grif: Hey what's wrong with you Caboose?
Caboose: What. Nothing.
Grif: Come on, we've been shooting at you for like twenty minutes, and you haven't run away screaming once.
Caboose: *sigh*
Grif: It's just not like you.
Caboose: I'm sad.
Grif: Sad?
Caboose: I know. It's just... Do you know what today is?
Grif: Absolutely no clue. What day comes after yesterday?
Caboose: It's Valentine's Day.
Grif: It is?
Simmons: Hey, what's going on up here!?
Grif: Caboose is in a depression.
Simmons: It's called a foxhole you idiot. Haven't you learnedany military terms yet?
Grif: No, I mean he's depressed.
Caboose: *moaning sigh*
Grif: See?
Simmons: Sad? Who gives a fuck, we're trying to kill him. Let him be sad when he's dead. Hey, you, stop having feelings.
Grif: Apparently he's upset because it's Valentine's Day.
Simmons: It's what?
Grif: Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day? The day we celebrate love? And romance? You know, girls?
Simmons: Oh, oh- oh yeah, right, yeah, duh, I totally know about that day. I celebrate that day all the time. With all kinds of ladies.
Grif: You don't have to try and impress me.
Simmons: Oh you just don't know any of them and uh, I didn't talk about it because you know, that wouldn't be cool.
Grif: Yeah I'm sure. So why didn't you know what Valentine's Day was?
Simmons: Oh I just didn't understand what you said.
Grif: Well what'd you think I said?
Simmons: Valentine's... doy?
Grif: Ah yeah, I can see how that would throw you off.
Caboose: Boo hoo hoo.
Grif: Oh come on, man.
Caboose: I'm all alone now. Church was always my valentine.
Grif: Why don't I believe that?
Caboose: It's true. We had a tradition.
Cut to Church in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen


Hey, Church. Happy Valentine-

Get the fuck away from me!

Cut to Church in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen


Church. Would you be my-

Get the fuck away from me!

Cut to Church and Wash in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen


Hey Church, Agent Washington. Nice weather.

I guess, okay.



I wonder if we'll find all those mean computer people today.

Whatever, fine.



You know, because, today would be a great day to find them since today is-


Cut back to Caboose in the foxhole near Grif and Simmons in the present
Caboose: I miss him so much!
Grif: Well you probably shouldn't.
Caboose: He loved me!
Simmons: Yeah, I have no idea why you'd think that.
Caboose: If he didn't love me, then why on every Valentine's Day did he give me my very own heart?
Grif: That was your heart! After he pulled it out of your chest! Don't you remember? It would always take Doc hours to sew it back in.
Simmons: Man, he used to bitch about that so much.
Caboose: And now it feels like it's been ripped out again but you know more symbolically this time, instead of like the regular way.
Simmons: Would you feel better if we made fun of you and called you names?
Caboose: Would you mind?
Simmons: Not at all, you stupid fucking shithead.
Caboose: Thanks guys. You're the best.



Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.