|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||October 12, 2009|
Trust Issues is the seventeenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Recreation, as well as the 136th episode of the episode overall.
Simmons, Lopez, and Donut make a break for the Blue Base at Valhalla, hoping The Meta's getaway vehicle will be there. Back at Sandtrap, Sarge and Grif are discussing the new Blue situation while Tucker, Caboose and Epsilon-Church try to deal with Church's short term memory loss. Caboose's solution, batting him in the head with an assault rifle, seems to do the trick. Just then, C.T. breaks into the temple and dispatches two elite guards to the weapon room. Sarge and Grif take down one of them in a skirmish and retreat further back into the Temple. Meanwhile, Epsilon-Church finds a new function, telekinesis, and starts playing with a large crate, claiming he is the most awesome superhero ever. A few seconds after that he loses control of his body again. "Yeah, some superhero," Tucker remarks as Church floats erratically back into the temple.
Red Team Edit
Blue Team Edit
Starts at Valhalla, nearby the Red Base. Simmons, crouching, sneaks out then sneaks back inside.
Simmons: Okay, here’s the plan. We run straight for Blue Base. Keep your heads up, and stay in formation. Lopez, you take the lead.
Lopez: Why do I have to be in front?
Simmons: Exactly. I’ll follow you, Lopez.
Donut: I’ll handle your rears!
Simmons: Okay! Change of plans. I’ll be last. Lopez, you still go out in front.
The three exit from the base.
Lopez: Of course I’m in front.
Simmons: Donut, you be in the middle.
Donut: It’ll be a Donut Sandwich! Mm-mm!
Simmons: Dammit, Donut! You can ruin anything!
They head a different direction and cut through the river, pausing once they reach the other side.
Simmons: Do you see anything?
Lopez: If I saw something, I would be shooting, dumbass.
Simmons: Well, keep your eyes open, then.
The three head towards a tree-filled region.
Lopez: Why do you guys always ask me questions if you never understand the answers?
Simmons: Geez, quiet, Lopez! God, we’ve been over this!
Lopez: Goddamn it.
Donut: Simmons! I’m scared~~!
Simmons: It’s okay. We’re all scared, Donut.
Lopez: I’m not scared. I made back-ups of myself this morning.
They pause at a certain point. Camera cuts back to the temple at Sandtrap with Tucker, Sarge, Grif, and Caboose. Caboose and Tucker take off while Sarge and Grif watch them run off.
Caboose: Church, wait.
Sarge: I knew it. This was a trap!
Grif: What’s a trap?
Sarge: Don’t you see, Grif? The Blues now have an advantage over us!
Grif: What, you mean they have a decent leader?
Sarge: No! I mean, they have three people and we only have two! …Approximately.
Grif: You honestly believe that the Blues orchestrated all of this to get a one-man advantage.
Sarge: Of course. They’ve been leading us along this entire time! It was all a diabolical scheme to get the drop on us! We just didn’t see it until now, because it was so cunningly crafted.
Grif: We’re talking about the same Blues here, right? There’s not some, other group of Blues that I haven’t heard of?
Sarge: Of course not!
Grif: Yeah. Didn’t know. You’re wrong. The new dude, he’s a floating ball. I don’t think he even counts as a person.
Sarge: Exactly. He’s a wildcard. We don’t even know what he’s capable of!
Grif: He’s a ball! He’s capable of rolling. And maybe bouncing—
An explosion is heard. The walls rumble loudly.
Sarge: Dear Paul and Ringo! What the heck was that!?
Grif: That did not sound good.
The camera zooms out as Tucker and Caboose run back into the room.
Tucker: Did you guys hear that?
Caboose: Heard what?
Grif: Of course we heard that, idiot!
Tucker: Oh great, I think they broke down the door.
Epsilon-Church floats into the room.
Epsilon-Church: What!? Who would do that thing you said to the other thing?
Grif: What’s wrong with him?
Tucker: He disabled his memory or something dumb while trying to unlock this massive laser eye he’s got. I don’t know.
Sarge: (grumbles) See?
Epsilon-Church: Who has a laser?
Caboose: You do!
Epsilon-Church: I do?
Tucker: [irritated] Yes.
Epsilon-Church: That’s awesome, man, I feel… great about whatever it is that we’re talking about.
Tucker: Caboose, shouldn’t you be killing him or something?
Caboose looks to Tucker, then runs to Epsilon-Church and whacks him with his gun.
Epsilon-Church: Ow! Hey, cut it out!
Caboose: Tucker did it.
Epsilon-Church: No he didn’t, jackass, you did.
Tucker: So you remember that.
Epsilon-Church: Why wouldn’t I remember that?
Tucker: You don’t remember why you wouldn’t remember? Then I guess you’re fixed, fuck it.
Epsilon-Church: You guys never make any goddamn sense.
Tucker: Yeah. That’s our problem.
The scene shifts to another area in the temple. C.T.’s voice is heard.
C.T.: Over here! Split up. You two, guard the entrance. Don’t let them out.
The scene cuts back to the group.
Sarge: Uh, I think we have more pressing issues at the moment, fellas.
Tucker: He’s right.
Grif: I thought you said they couldn’t bust through the door!
Tucker: When did you guys start listening to me?
Sarge: Everybody, press and cover.
They charge into another room. Scene cuts to an alien walking into the room they had left. He looks around, waiting, and grunts. He moves forward and another alien arrives from behind. Grif and Tucker peer around the corners for a moment before retreating.
Grif: Shit, there’s two of them.
Sarge: Grif. Don’t panic. You’ve been trained for this.
Grif: This? I’ve been trained for this? Being stuck in an ancient temple, surrounded by mystic technology, while being hunted by aliens from another planet? This is what I’ve been trained for!?
Sarge: Okay, well maybe not this specifically, but elements of this! Which when combined and liberally interpreted, bear a close resemblance of this.
Grif: Not even close!
Sarge: Ahh, just shut up and fight. Today is a good day for you to die! Yaaah!
The two Reds charge into the hallway and begin firing their guns. One alien is shot down immediately as the other tosses a grenade. The Reds back away.
Grif: Look out!
Tucker swaps his gun for his sword. He peers out again, crouching.
Tucker: I just need them to get a little closer. (begins creeping out)
Caboose: Hey… Church? Are you doing that…?
Epsilon-Church: Doing what?
A box is floating and rotating beside Epsilon-Church. He turns to see it.
Epsilon-Church: Oh, cool! Am I?
The box begins spinning the other direction, then switches back to the other again.
Epsilon-Church: Oh look, I am! It’s awesome!
Tucker: (stands up and looks back at them) What the fuck? When did you get telekinesis?
Caboose: You have teleportesis!? Can you hear what I am thinking right now?
Epsilon-Church: What? No!
Tucker: My guess would be, nothing.
Caboose: Oh my God, Tucker has it too!!
Epsilon-Church: (still fascinated by the box) Look at this! This is so kickass! I wonder what other powers I have. (The box drops.) Man, I could be, the most powerful being in the entire universe. (begins to float off again) I’m like a superhero!
Tucker: Where are you going?
Epsilon-Church: Oops, uh, yeah, I seem to have lost control of my body again.
Tucker: Yeah, some superhero. You fucking dick.
- "It is a good day for you to die! "- Sarge in reference to Grif.
- "Yeah, some superhero." - Tucker in response to Church's claim to fame.
- "It'll be a Donut Sandwich! Mhmm." - Donut referring to his position in formation.
- "Dammit, Donut, you could ruin anything! "- Simmons
- "I'm not scared. I made back-ups of myself this morning." - Lopez
- "You guys never make any goddamn sense!" - Church
- "Yeah, that's our problem." - Tucker
- "What the fuck? When did you get telekinesis?" - Tucker to Church
- "You have teleportesis? Can you hear what I am thinking right now?" - Caboose
- "What? No!" - Church
- "My guess would be: nothing." - Tucker
- "Oh my God, Tucker has it too!" - Caboose