Red vs. Blue Episode
"Red vs. Blue Relocated: Part Three"
Episode no. 3
Airdate March 2, 2009
Director(s) Gavin Free

Red vs. Blue Relocated
February 9, 2009 - March 9, 2009

  1. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part One
  2. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Two
  3. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Three
  4. Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Four

Part Three of Red vs Blue: Relocated


The Reds manage to get their long-range communications back online and call Lopez. He reveals that he recently killed Sister and that the Reds have won the ongoing war at Blood Gulch. Lopez arrives shortly thereafter and quickly builds an underground holographic testing facility for the Red Team's mechanical creations.



List of characters in Red vs. Blue

Red TeamEdit

Blue TeamEdit


  • Sarge has finally seemed to understand Spanish.
  • Lopez has a CQB chest plate instead of a MRK VI chest plate in this episode.


Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base

Sarge: Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.

Grif: How? These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?

Sarge: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.

Grif: Yeah? Well, what about people in situations where they really don't give a fuck? What kind of powers do they get?

Sarge: Grif!

Simmons: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade.

Grif: Um, is that safe?

Simmons: None of this is safe. You're gonna start analyzing now?

Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.

Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes.

Simmons: Sarge, you pulled the pin out.

Sarge: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in? Hey, Grif, catch this one.

Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.

Grif: No! I'm not catching those.

Sarge: Dammit, I can't reach.

The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes close to Sarge and Simmons

Simmons: Aah! Cut it out!

Grif: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here.

A rocket flies past Grif

Sarge: Did ya' catch that one?

Grif: Okay, here we go. (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Where do I go when the grenade is...

An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons and Sarge.

Simmons: Oh no, he's falling.

Sarge: I see that!

Simmons: Should we try to catch him?

Sarge: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.

Simmons: What do we do?

Sarge: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.

Simmons: You used to jump out of ships. Give him some advice!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif,you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!

Simmons: Advice on how to land!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is...

After an incredible amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.

Sarge: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.

Simmons: Hey, Sarge?

Sarge: Yeah?

Simmons: I think he's down already.

Sarge: Oh, right.

Grif: Owwww..........

Sarge: (laughs) Simmons, you are observant!

Cut to Caboose sneaking around the downed Pelican
Caboose: There you are.
Cut back to- what, already? Well that was exciting. Cut back to the Reds
Sarge: Hot ham and cheese, the power's back on.
Simmons: Um, I think Grif is broken, Sir.
Sarge: Sad. I always thought I would be the cause of Grif's death. Ah well fuck it.
Simmons: Yeah, fuck it.
Sarge: Let's call Lopez, and tell him we've got power. Robots love that stuff.
Simmons: And oil.
Sarge: Stop helping me.
Radio sounds
Sarge: Come in Lopez, señor Lopez, come in. This is Sargeant-
Lopez: Hola. Esta es Barranco de la Sangre. Discurso de Lopez.
Caption: Hello? This is Blood Gulch Canyon, Lopez speaking.
Sarge: Lopez, it's Sarge. Que paso. Whatya doin'? ...Lopez?
Lopez: Uh, Me disculpo, no puedo utilizar el teléfono. Deja por favor un mensaje...
Caption: Uhhh... Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. Please leave me a message and I'll...
Sarge: Eh, heh heh. Lopez, you old kidder. Cut it out.
Lopez: ...le llamaré des tras.
Caption: you back as soon as I am able.
Sarge: Haha, seriously program, disable lying mode voice verification Bravo niner.
Lopez: Commando acceptado.
Lopez: ¿Qué usted tiene?
Caption: OK. What do you want?
Sarge: I need you at the new base on the double.
Lopez: ¿Por qué?
Caption: Why?
Sarge: We got power. Need your help building something awesome. You busy?
Lopez: No. Acabo de matar a esa muchacha encima a la Base Azul.
Caption: Actually. Not really. I just killed that girl over at Blue Base. So I'm all wrapped up here.
Lopez: Ganamos a propósito.
Caption: We won by the way.
Sarge: Great! Hey Simmons, we won Blood Gulch.
Simmons: Oh, cool. Suck it Blue.
Sarge: Oh, and tell Grif his sister's dead.
Simmons: Yes sir! Wait, what?
Lopez: OK. Estoy viniendo.
Caption: OK I guess I can be right there.
Sarge: Great, we'll see you soon. I'll forward you some blueprints of what we've been workin' on.
Grif wakes up and moans
Grif: (weakly) What happened?
Sarge: Grif, you're awake, good. Lopez is coming here, I need you to stay out of the way.
Grif: Uh, can do.
Sarge: Simmons, you check the base, make sure everything is online. Lopez is going to need all the power he can get.
Simmons: On it Sir.
Sarge: Lopez, you get in the base, start workin' on the plans I sent you.
Lopez: Sí.
Simmons: Wow, he got here fast!
Sarge: Oh and uh, Grif, one more thing. You might wanna sit down.
Grif: I can't sit, I think both my kneecaps are shattered.
Sarge: Oh, well in that case, Simmons, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him his sister's dead.
Grif: My sister is dead?
Sarge: Oh, you already know! Good. I was worried 'bout how to break the news to you. That could've been awkward.
Grif: No way. Not true.
Sarge: Lopez told us himself.
Grif: Yeah right.
Simmons: You don't believe it?
Grif: I'll tell you what, you produce a corpse, I'll believe it.
Simmons: Huh?
Grif: Listen, once when we were kids, we went ice skating, and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours, and when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive, she was pregnant. If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you when you tell me she's dead.
Sarge: Hhhh, I wouldn't even know how to-
Lopez: Hecho.
Caption: Done.
Sarge: Hot damn, Lopez is done already. Did you finish the-
Lopez: Sí.
Caption: Yes.
Sarge: Well what about the-
Lopez: Sí.
Caption: Yes.
Sarge: And also the-
Lopez: Me hacen. Esa significa que hice todo.
Caption: I am done. That means I did everything.
Sarge: Caliente daminito, let's go check it out.
Lopez: Está aqui.
Caption: It's over here.
They enter an elevator which will prove to take quite a while to get where it's going
Lopez: Prensa abajo
Caption: Just hit the down button.
Grif: You installed an elevator?
Lopez: Por supuesto.
Caption: Of course.
Lopez: Introduzco su código. Ponga su mano allí.
Caption: Now enter your personalized key code. Put your hand on the scanner.
Lopez: Dé vuelta a esa rueda.
Caption: Now turn that crank.
Sarge: Which one, this one?
Lopez: No. La rueda media.
Caption: No. The third one down. Fifth one over.
Sarge: Ah, okay.
Grif: How did he build all of this?
Sarge: I told ya, he just needed power tools.
Lopez: Prense su botón cuando empujo los míos.
Caption: Now, push your button when I push mine.
Sarge: At the same time?
Lopez: Sí.
Caption: Yes.
Sarge: You wanna do it like on three or like, three and then go?
Lopez: ¡Apenas agarro!
Caption: Just push it!
Sarge: Okay.
Lopez: Esto es el.
Caption: Here we are.
They exit the elevator and walk to a large empty room
Grif: What the fuck?
Simmons: What the hell is all this?
Sarge: As you know, I've been working on developing a new version of our Warthog. So I had Lopez here build an underground holographically powered simulation room. This is going to allow us, to test the final concepts of my car design. Now check it.
A blue grid appears on the floor, then a Warthog appears above it, and then the grid disappears.
Grif: Okay. Now that was pretty cool.
Sarge: Thank you.
Simmons: Hey wait a second, so you built an entire chamber, capable of running holographic simulations, rather than just build the car itself? That doesn't seem very efficient to me.
Sarge: Simmons, sometimes you just gotta go for style points. Hoo-ah.



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