Red vs. Blue Episode
Episode no. 0
Airdate June 9, 2009
Director(s) Gavin Free

Red vs. Blue Recreation
June 15, 2009 - October 26, 2009

  1. Trailer
  2. Don't Get Me Started
  3. Free Refills
  4. Visiting Hours
  5. Catching Up
  6. Local Host
  7. One New Message
  8. Bon Voyage
  9. Directions
  10. My house, from here
  11. Lay of the Land
  12. Dumb Cop, Bad Cop
  13. Well Hello
  14. Called Up
  15. The Installation
  16. Watch the Flank
  17. Retention Deficit
  18. Trust Issues
  19. Hang Time
  20. Think You Know Someone
Red vs. Blue: Recreation's trailer was released June 9, 2009. It takes place three days after the final part of Red vs. Blue: Relocated.

Characters Edit

Red TeamEdit

Blue Team Edit


The trailer begins with Simmons spying on Caboose's mysterious goings-on. Caboose first blows up his own barricade, then lights himself on fire. Simmons reports back, but meanwhile Sarge and Grif are bickering. It is revealed that the entire Red Team is alive, including the unconscious/comatose Donut. Church is revealed to be present, in a solid white form, lamenting about being dead. Tex appears at his side, asking, "What are you gonna do about it, Church?" As he watches Caboose run around on fire, he continues to lament. He tells Tex that they "aren't done", to which she replies that they should "get started". Church semi-sarcastically thanks her for her input, and she insists that he is to blame.



Opening Credits: Outpost 17-B: “Valhalla” Post-War: Year 1.25

Caboose: Oh, no, no don’t.

Explosion rings out

Caboose: Ahhhh... crap.

Simmons: Hum. I need to tell Sarge about this.

Radio cuts on

Simmons: Sarge, come in this is Simmons.

Over Radio

Sarge: Grif I do not want to discuss this anymore. You need to shower on a regular basis, its regulation.

Simmons: Sarge, hey Sarge...

Over Radio

Grif: Why? Our suits are ventilated, they push out the stink.

Simmons: Grif, Hello... God damn it...

Over Radio

Sarge: you’re just gonna give away our position with those green wavy lines coming off you.

Grif: OK, I’ll shower... occasionally.

Sarge: Every day.

Grif: Every day. How can I tell how long a day is, the sun never sets around here. Why the hell doesn’t the sun set? Shouldn’t we be talking about that first?

At red base

Sarge: Simmons, how’d the latest reconnaissance mission go?

Simmons: Sarge, I have some really exciting news. I just think everyone is going to find this very, very exciting.

Sarge: Well spit it out.

Simmons: The Blues... are completely undermanned right now.

Sarge: What do you mean by “undermanned”?

Grif: What do you mean by exciting?

Simmons: It looks like they have received no reinforcements after the last mission. I need to double check my numbers, but if it’s just Caboose over there, that means we have a 4 man advantage.

Grif: Ooo... What part do you need to double check? Is it the part where you counted their guys or the part where you counted our guys cause they both sound really tough.

Simmons: Shut up Grif, no ones talking to you.

Sarge: hmm... This could be strategically advantageous.

Grif: Or maybe it was the part where you subtracted 1 from 5. Math can be hard, Hey Lopez!

Lopez: Si

Grif: Fire up your calculator unit, we got a doozy!

Lopez: (Grumbles)

Sarge: He can’t do that, I had to remove that application in order to install a new free app I downloaded. It’s a program that could be vital to the moral here at our new base.

Lopez: (Spanish) It makes fart noises.

Sarge: he he I don’t want to spoil it for you boys, but lets just say it is hilarious.

Lopez: (Spanish) Let’s just say you’re an idiot.

Grif: Actually, you do need to recount. we don’t have 5 guys we only have 4

Simmons: We got Donut back.

Grif: You cant count Donut.

Simmons: Why not, he’s unconscious right now, but when he wakes up...

Grif: Unconscious? He’s been out for three days. I think it’s ok to upgrade him to comatose.

Simmons: Well, I think we should count everyone. I’m an equal opportunity counter.

Grif: Yeah, because I’d hate to go into battle without Donut.

Simmons: I mean hell, if I’m counting you as a soldier, I should count the vehicles, some of the bigger rocks we have laying around here, fuck it let’s give the trash can a gun.

Grif: At least I can subtract 5 and 1 without double-checking.

In distance, Church appears holding a sniper, overlooking the Reds

Simmons: Oh, can you?

Church: Uhh, great. I’m sure this will all end well. I just can’t believe that those idiots are responsible for my death. Twice! It’s embarrassing is what it is.

At Blue Base, flames are seen from the inside

Caboose: Oh no fire, that’s bad. Bad fire! Bad fire go away.

Back with Church

Church: I mean if I was killed by an alien or a monster, or you know some kind of sorority blow job massacre. that I could handle.

Caboose: Please stop burning, Nothing else burn.

Church: And look at this, this is my legacy. I mean what did I do with my life to deserve this.

Caboose: I mean it.

Tex Appears Behind Church

Church: Uhh, this is it’s all gone so wrong.

Tex: Well, what are you gonna do about it Church?

Church: Do? What can I do Tex? I’m dead, I’m gone.

Tex: Oh come on Church. They say you’re never completely dead if someone still remembers you.

Church: Y-Y-yeah. But look who’s left to remember me. Him?

Caboose runs out of base, on fire

Caboose: Oh God, now I’m burning. That’s much worse then other things burning!

Church: Sure feels like being dead. Like all the way dead. Like somebody encased me in cement and then fired me into the sun dead.

Caboose: Oh god, why does it keep chasing me?

Caboose falls into the river, fires put out.

Caboose: Ahh... that’s nice.

Church: It’s just a long way back for us.

Tex: Ok, so then we’re done?

Caboose: Ok let’s try that again. But with less fire on me this time.

Church: No, no we’re not done.

Camera pans to the sky

Tex: Well if we’re not done, let’s get started.

Church: Hey have I ever told you how helpful you are to me? I mean you’re so full of fucking wisdom, what would I do without you?

Title Screens: Red vs. Blue: Relocated

Tex: I try my best... And you have no one to blame but yourself.


  • Burnie Burns confirmed in an interview with Lets Figure This Out Shizno group that the Church and Tex in the Recreation Trailer are more metaphoric than actual characters.[1]




  1. [1]

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