|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||July 13, 2009|
The chapter begins with Caboose and Donut realizing Washington has ended the transmission. After abjectly reminding Caboose of the holo-room in Red Base, Donut returns to his teammates, who are in the canyon, debating on the next course of action. The Reds return to base were Sarge and Grif debrief Donut while Lopez and Simmons work on the jeep. Caboose decides to sneak into the Hologram Chamber with Epsilon to work on the design of the 'new Church'. He does this by hiding in a box and walking around outside the Red Base, with only Grif noticing him. Caboose manages to get into the holo-room with Epsilon, who's container begins to hum more and more loudly, until a warping noise (indicative of a hologram activating) is heard and Caboose says in a suprised tone, "It's you."
- Main Article: List of characters in Red vs. Blue
Starts with Caboose and Donut ending their transmission with Washington.
Caboose: Hello? Hello? Agent Washington! Are you there? Hello? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Donut: Umm, I think he hung up.
Caboose: No, I don’t think so… I don’t think he’d do anything like that—hello! Hello.
Donut: Okay. Well, I think I’ll just head back to my base. If you can think of anything to help me with that desert situation, just give me a ring.
Donut: You need any help with your Frankenstein-friend project?
Caboose: Oh, no, but uh, if you see any mechanical parts laying around that… look friendly, would you save them for us?
Donut: Well, sure! I can ask Sarge if he used his underground secret workshop. I heard the guys talking about it, it sounded cool.
Caboose: Oh right, they mentioned that earlier when they came by to pick you up.
Donut: He doesn’t usually like letting the enemy use our equipment, but maybe I’ll catch him in a good mood.
Caboose: Oh, you could try killing the orange one first! That would probably put him in a great mood!
Donut: Yeah… that’s a good idea and all, but we have all these rules against killing people from our own team.
Donut: Tell me about it.
Caboose: No I don’t think we have rules like that on Blue Team.
Donut: Man. Our team sucks. (leaves through the man cannon)
Caboose: Ohhh. So that’s how that works. (heads downstairs) Secret underground workshop, huh? Well, I have to try something. I don’t seem to be very good about doing this on my own. (A random ignition occurs to his right.) All right, now how did that even start!?
Cuts to Red Team, discussing their plans right outside the Red Base.
Sarge: Man, with Donut captured, I think we should abandon our previous plans of not attacking the Blues and institute a new plan, of attacking the Blues.
Sarge: Winning the war is one thing, but having a man captured is quite another. I can’t stand by knowing we’ve left a man behind! (turns to Grif) So I need a volunteer to run a suicide rescue mission. This won’t be easy, and you’re almost certain to die!
Grif: Why are you looking at me when you say that?
Sarge: Thanks for volunteering, Grif! (Donut is seen approaching behind him from the hill.) Now the plan is to run straight at Blue Base, grab Donut, and carry him home over your shoulder, even if he’s not hurt. That way when the Blues track you down to kill ya, Donut will still have fresh legs to run home and avoid recapture.
Simmons: Um, sir?
Sarge: Quiet, Simmons! (Donut is now standing beside Sarge.) You’ve been too unreliable lately for a suicide mission. I think I need to go with a pro.
Grif: Gee thanks, sir.
Sarge: Just get him back here! I can’t stand Donut being captured another minute!
Donut: Aw, that’s sweet, Sarge! Thank-you!
Sarge: What the?
Grif: Mission accomplished, sir.
Sarge: Excellent work, Private Grif!
Grif: Thanks, sir. Request permission to go AWOL for a few months?
Sarge: Permission denied.
Grif: Eh. Had to try.
Sarge: Donut, you’re back! Are you okay? You look fine to me.
Donut: I do? Well, I did switch to a new armor polish recently. Thanks for noticing, Sarge.
Sarge: No, I mean they didn’t hurt ya!
Donut: Hurt me? Oh no, not at all. And it’s not a “them” over there, it’s only a “him.” They only have one guy now.
Sarge: Just one soldier, eh? That seems like it could be a tactical advantage.
Simmons: We already knew that!
Sarge: And now it’s confirmed.
Grif: Permission to switch Simmons to the Blue Team, sir?
Sarge: Permission denied.
Grif: Eh. Had to try.
Simmons: Fuck it. I’m gonna go help Lopez with the jeep. (runs off)
Sarge: Okay, Donut. I want as much information as possible. Let’s get you debriefed.
Donut: That sounds like fun. Boy, things have really changed around here.
Sarge: That’s not what I meant!
Cuts to Caboose, watching from afar.
Caboose: Okay, Epsilon. Let’s get in there. [whispers] And try to stay quiet. It’s sneaking time.
Caboose runs off towards Red Base. The scene cuts to Simmons standing beside Lopez, who is fixing the jeep. Caboose is hiding behind one of the barricades beside them and spontaneously pops up from behind other barricades and boxes as he gets closer to the two Reds.
Simmons: No, no. That one goes there, this one goes here.
Lopez: This argument is redundant. I know what corresponds to where.
Simmons: Here, just let me do it, give me your wrench.
Lopez: This is a hammer you fucking idiot.
Caboose: (crouched, sneaking passed the jeep) [whispers to self] I am sneaking, I am sneaking.
Scene cuts to Sarge. The metal box behind him begins to slide on its own towards the Red Base as the Reds are talking.
Sarge: Did you tell him anything?
Donut: Not really. It seems like they had most of the information anyway.
Donut: Yeah! I was actually surprised by how much information he had gathered about our weapons and facilities.
Sarge: We’ve got a leak! Grif, found out who’s been jammin’!
Caboose continues to sneak towards the Red Base, chanting in a whisper, “Sneaking sneaking, sneaking” to himself as Grif silently watches him pass.
Sarge: Grif, can you find the leak or not!?
Caboose (the box) crashes into something and stops moving.
Caboose: [whispers] Oh! What was that?
Grif: I’ll get right on that, sir. I’m sure the leak is someone very close to us. Specifically, someone very nearby me.
Scene cuts to the simulation room inside the Red Base, with Caboose.
Caboose: There’s nothing here? This room is boring! [making echoes] Boring, boring… boring… boring… boring… boring… (turns to Epsilon, who is making noise) Epsilon, shush! (Epsilon gets louder) Epsilon, seriously! Stop it. They’re going to hear you!
Screen fades to black. A warping noise is heard, indicating that a hologram is activating.
Caboose: …it’s you…!
- Simmons's line, "No, no. That one goes there, this one goes here" is a reference to a line spoken to Chewbacca by Han Solo in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
- Caboose sneaking past the Red Team in a metal "cardboard" box is most likely a reference to Metal Gear Solid.