Red vs. Blue Episode
"Drink Your Ovaltine"
Episode no. 2
Airdate April 8, 2010
Running time 5:02

Red vs. Blue Revelation
April 1, 2010 - September 13, 2010

  1. For Those of You Just Joining Us
  2. Drink Your Ovaltine
  3. Upon Further Review
  4. Recovering One
  5. Fourth And Twenty
  6. Towing Package
  7. And Don't Call Me Shirley
  8. Perusing The Archive
  9. Backup Plans
  10. This One Goes to Eleven
  11. Restraining Orders
  12. Snooze Button
  13. Battle of the Exes
  14. Reconfiguration
  15. Check Your Local Listings
  16. Standardized Testing
  17. Tenth Percentile
  18. Rally Cap
  19. Reunion
  20. n+1

Drink Your Ovaltine is the second episode of Red vs. Blue: Revelation and the 155th episode overall.


Sarge thinks something is wrong at Valhalla and so wants to contact Simmons. However, back at Valhalla, Simmons and Doc are being held hostage by Washington and the Meta. The Meta is having trouble with its stolen Freelancer equipment since its AI's were destroyed by the EMP. Washington tells him not to try and use all the equipment simultaneously. Doc, hearing about AI's, tries reminiscing with Simmons about how he had once had one of the AI's. Hearing the term and hoping to recover the AI for for his own use, the Meta menaces Doc, and Washington quickly asks Doc which AI he had before the Meta tries to kill him. After Doc reveals his ex-Ai to be Omega, Washington states that it has been accounted for, implying that the whole converstaion was a waste of time. Washington then orders Doc to check the Meta's vitals, much to Doc's consternation, and his usual, "I'm not a proper medic yet!" speech. In the meantime Sarge and Grif are able to contact Simmons by using Epsilon as a transmitter/battery to boost the signal of their radio antenna, achieved by sticking said antenna in what is described as 'an uncomfortable place.' When Sarge calls Simmons he answers, and responds to Sarge's queries while being held at gunpoint by Washington. Simmons tells Doc that he couldn't say anything to them, and that Grif and Sarge are running into a trap. Though Grif believes that nothing is out of the ordinary, Sarge immediately (and correctly) deduces that Simmons and Doc are taken hostage by Wash and the Meta, and that Donut and Lopez are dead. His reasoning is based on the absence of the key routines of the Red Team soldiers, including Simmons not answering the call correctly, Lopez's maintenance schedule and Donut's social hours. Sarge orders preparation for a rescue mission. Grif immediately sees a flaw with this idea, knowing full well that he and Sarge alone are no match for either Washington or the Meta, and certainly not both together. Sarge reassures Grif that he has a plan, which immediately makes Grif uncomfortable. When they leave for Valhalla, Epsilon follows them in hopes of learning the truth about his visions.


Fade in to Sarge and Grif in the desert
Sarge: Hmm.
Grif: Hey Sarge, what's wrong?
Sarge: I don't like this, Grif.
Grif: What, the vision?
Tucker: It's a waterfall, it's literally impossible to forget. Like girlfriend dick.
Sarge: Yeah. I've never been what you'd call a "new age" kinda guy.
Grif: You don't say.
Sarge: But this bowling ball seems to be on a heck of a roll! Pun intended. What with the flying and the laser shooting and all.
Grif: And he can lift stuff without arms. That's pretty cool.
Sarge: That too. What if there's something to this whole vision thing? We need to call Simmons. Find out if he's seen anything out of the ordinary.
Grif: How? Our long range radio here got destroyed, and we don't have enough signal power in the jeeps to reach him.
Sarge: I think I have an idea how to fix that.
Cut to Simmons and Doc being held prisoner in a base by Wash and the Meta
Doc: Hh, mm. Ow my head. Oh.
Simmons: Doc, you're alive. Good.
Doc: Yeah, no thanks to you. Why'd you hit me?
Simmons: I didn't hit you, they did.
Doc: Jerks. Who're they?
Simmons: The dark one's Washington. He's a Freelancer.
Doc: Great. 'Cause those guys are always such a blast to hang around with.
Simmons: The big one, we call the Meta.
Doc: But rumor had it those guys were disbanded. Everyone went to jail.
Simmons: Yeah, hwell I guess they got paroled.
Washington: You two, quiet.
The Meta starts glitching
Washington: Then you need to stop trying to use all of them. You just don't have the resources any more.
Simmons: Meta killed a bunch of other Freelancers. Took their equipment.
Doc: Like the invisibility?
Simmons: Yeah, and the shield and the thing that slows down time. He also stole their A.I. fragments, but those all got wiped out. Now something seems, I don't know, wrong with him.
Doc: An A.I. fragment? That I remember. Hey Simmons, remember that A.I. I had for a while? That thing was crazy.
The Meta makes some swoosh sounds, and approaches Doc
Doc: Yipes!
Washington: Halt. Meta, stop!
Doc: Wyaa! Simmons, help me!
Washington: You, what did you just say?
Doc: Tht- tht- tht- tht tht, that I had one of your A.I. units?
The Meta grunts or something... it's really hard to translate him, you know?
Washington: Stand down. You said had. Where is it now?
Doc: Gone.
Washington: Which one?
Doc: Uh, uh ub, the mean one.
Washington: Its name. Did you know its name?
Doc: Uh, O'Malley. I mean uh, Omega.
Washington: Well that one's been accounted for.
Doc: I-I only had it for a short time.
Washington: Well then good. You know what to look for. I need a complete scan of my friend here. And I would recommend you don't use any needles. He hates needles, and we wouldn't wanna make him angry, now would we?
Well, Sarge and Grif are at the jeep, and Church is at the top of the radio antenna
Sarge: Alright let's try this. You ready antenna ball?
Church: I told you not to call me that! And hurry it up. This metal rod isn't exactly in a comfortable place.
Grif: Hey, do you wanna find out about your vision or don't ya?
Radio sounds
Sarge: Come in Valhalla Outpost Number One. Come in! Red Base, do you read me? Come in! Give me some more power, shotput.
Simmons comes in on the radio
Simmons: Uh, Sarge? Yeah, hi.
Sarge: Who is this, identify yourself.
Simmons: It's me, Simmons. Sorry Sir.
Sarge: How is everything going there, Simmons?
Simmons: Here? Uh, fine I guess. Everything's good. How 'bout you guys?
Sarge: Mission is complete. We're preparing to head out soon.
Simmons: What was that? Sorry, some static here. This radio's a little messed up. Been a bit rainier here.
Sarge: I said, we're comin' back soon.
Simmons: Oh, that's great. Hey, when do you think that'll be, exactly.
Sarge: Hard to say, Simmons. We'll let you know.
Cut to Simmons at the radio with a gun to his head
Simmons: Okay Sarge, sounds good.
Sarge: Over and out.
Washington: Okay good. Now get back over there.
Doc: That was your Sergeant?
Simmons: Yeah.
Doc: You think he'll come help us?
Simmons: Noh, I couldn't say anything to him. If they come, they'll be walking sraight into a trap.
Back to the desert, and Church doesn't have a pole up his ball any more
Grif: Thanks for the help.
Church: Yeah, whatever. I'm not gonna fly straight for a week now.
Grif: Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control.
Sarge: Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner.
Grif: What? Everything sounded fine to me.
Sarge: Think about it. How do you answer the radio at our base?
Grif: Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today.
Sarge: And we've drilled that since day one! Simmons answered 'Hi.' That was my first clue!
Grif: So maybe he's just ups-
Sarge: He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance?
Grif: Never.
Sarge: And look at the time.
Grif: Can't, clock's broken.
Sarge: It's 17:30. And everybody knows that 17:30 is...
Grif: Donut's daily wine and cheese hour!
Sarge: I didn't hear any tinkling glasses. Did you?
Grif: You're right.
Sarge: He also mentioned that the weather was rainier. And as we all know, Mt. Rainier is the biggest landmass in the state of... Washington.
Grif: We do? Uh uh- I mean we do!
Sarge: How many Washingtons do we know?
Grif: Did he mean, Agent Washington?
Sarge: And who's the biggest mass we know, associated with Washington?
Grif: The Meta!
Sarge: So the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez, and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner.
Grif: We have to help 'em. Wait, Doc? Ha- how do you know he's there?
Sarge: Please, Grif, it's so obvious. I don't wanna insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail.
Grif: Oh, uh, wuh okay.
Sarge: Come on- we're going to Valhalla. It's time for a rescue mission!
Grif: Rescue mission? How the hell are we supposed to fight Wash and the Meta?
Sarge: Don't worry I have a plan. How good are the seatbelts in this new jeep?
Grif: Good, I guess.
Church: Valhalla, huh?
Church starts following the jeep at a distance
Grif: Wait, why?



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